Seems as though I’ve been on an unintentional blogging hiatus, but I’m back! Missed me didn’t you? Go ahead you can admit it. Okay, so I probably only have three readers, and they’re family who feel obligated to read my ramblings, but hey…I have three readers - go me!!
I want to keep it on the lighter side and I’ll start with Princess. She’s a whole hand now, and very big as she just celebrated her birthday recently. She asked me to no longer call her Tiny Girl when we’re in public because “I’m not tiny anymore.” She’s so cute. For her birthday she wanted to go to the zoo. This visit she wanted to see three specific animals. First, she wanted to see and feed the parakeets, next she wanted to see the pandas and lastly, the elephants. Sounds cute doesn’t it? Let me delve into her little mind for you a bit more, so you can fully appreciate this visit to the zoo.
At our zoo there is a parakeet pavilion where hundreds of brightly colored parakeets fly around. There’s a sign as you enter the area that says “Poop Happens” warning you to be careful where you stand as the birds may leave you with a little more of a souvenir than that shirt you wanted to get from the gift shop. Fortunately, no one was pooped upon and Princess did get to see the parakeets. This trip to the zoo Rotten Pap and Granny came with us. Super Hubby bought treat sticks from the gift shop so the kids could feed the parakeets. The birds sit in small branched trees and wait for these treats. Some are more friendly and less shy than others, but if you’re patient you’ll get to hold a parakeet as they hop onto the stick with their treat. Rotten Pap, he’s as bad as a kid, he had to gently shake a branch some parakeets were sitting upon and watch them jump off flying around. A bit later, the birds all went crazy flying to and fro, it was like one of those horror movies where crows are swarming the unsuspecting victim. Only these were beautifully colored and less “I want to poke your eyes out and eat them”. After everyone had fed and held a parakeet, we moved on.
Up next, Pandas! She loves pandas, has many stuffed pandas with various names containing the word ‘Panda’. Let’s see, there is Pandy, Baby Panda, Panda, and her most recently acquired panda shocked me when she named her Kacie. I thought surely it would be Panda 2.0 or something - I guess she really is getting bigger. Everyone watched the Pandas for a while and then Rotten Pap pointed out the panda poop to Hot Rod and Princess. Very informative and educational that Pap is! Later that night, as I asked her “Well, what did you think of getting to see the REAL Po?” She said, “Yeah I liked it. But Mommy, why wasn’t he wearing his orange shorts?” I laughed, and told her "Remember that poop Pap showed you? Well that’d be pretty messy to clean up, since you can’t potty train a panda.” She accepted that answer, lol.
Then remember, she wanted to see the elephants. Well it was not just the elephants she wanted to see, she wanted to see an elephant poop. She wanted to see how they pooped and how big it was. I tell you, these kids do make me laugh. She did not get to see the elephant poop, but at least she got to see the elephants. She was happy enough, and we all still think it’s funny that she wanted to see an elephant poop.
Granny and I rented those little motor scooter things as she’s working with a replaced knee and I’m dealing with MG. Might not be able to walk the zoo, but I can certainly ride a scooter and we can see and do what the kids want. They’re not missing out on the world just because I have MG, I’m happy about that.
Hot Rod is doing great, he’s such a big help to me and is so very smart. He was talking a few nights ago to Granny, Princess and I and told us “When two people get married, they kind of collide and Boom! God gives them a baby.” There is truth in that statement, if the ‘collision’ comes together just right and God sees fit, that’s how babies get here. I laughed and laughed, told him ‘Technically, I guess that’s right.’ I just know the “Talk” is coming soon. He’s already asked about puberty, and I gave him a very PG description of the changes he’ll undergo and what to expect, for now he’s content with that but the next time, the bigger “Talk” I think, Super Hubby is going to need to be involved with.
No matter how these two people collided in order to get them, we surely have been blessed with two wonderful children for whom I am very grateful.
And now for my embarrassingly hilarious (to me) story.
It was my week of PEX, and Rotten Pap has been taking me to the hospital, Granny has been staying with the kidlets and the Hubster has been able to concentrate on work without having to take more vacation days to take me. (I tell you I have married into the sweetest, most caring family in the world, and no, I won’t share!)
The last day. I’ve made it through a few bumps and finally it’s my last day. I’m tired, didn’t sleep much the night before and my stomach is bothering me. Therefore, before going into the dialysis unit (which is where they do PEX) I stop off by the restroom; I don’t want any more of those pee pan incidents! I’m early and get to the unit, knock on the door, they let me in and the nurse starts preparing me for PEX. She has had to step away and my stomach is still bothering me, so I figure I’ll ask to use the restroom once more. Surely once more and I can hold it for a few hours until my treatments are over. Agreeing to my request, she just warns me to be careful of the catheter I have in my chest.
I head to the restroom and do my private business. I feel better now. Ah, yes, I’ll be able to wait until after treatments before I need to go again. I sigh in relief as I flush the toilet and start soaping up my hands. Water is running in the sink and I’m doing a good job to scrub up my hands. Uh oh. Houston we have a problem. I look over at that toilet I had just done my private business in and it’s getting higher and higher. In two seconds flat, that sucker is overflowing. Quickly I scan the restroom for a plunger. NONE! Oh goodness. I get to the door as quickly as I can, with panic in my voice “The toilet! The toilet it’s overflowing!” No this isn’t an April Fool’s joke. This is Friday the 13th and my private business is no longer private - to anyone! Today I guess JK Rowling’s Moaning Myrtle came to play. My nurse wasn’t right there when I come scrambling out of the bathroom door so I have to shout my problem once again. She comes rushing over and sees it! “Oh no, Oh no!” She shouts.
Another nurse comes out to the rescue, I hope. She’s on the phone, on a conference call, and here I am red faced, no plunger, my business on the floor and soapy hands that I have been able to finish washing. “Oh my goodness!” the other nurse says in her pleasantly accented voice. The first nurse, my nurse for the day, has begun gathering bed linens and laying them in the floor as Mount Poopmore has begun rushing out the restroom door. Sheets, towels, blankets anything she could grab and toss at this craptastic mess, she’s doing. I begin to try to help her make a barrier to keep it from flowing into the unit any more. Finally, the toilet has stopped running over but the damage has been done, to the floor and my pride and I still have soapy hands. My nurse tells me I can use another sink further down in the unit and I go scrub my soapy hands clean.
As I wash then dry my mitts, I hear the pleasantly accented nurse calling for assistance. “Yes this is so and so from dialysis and one of our patients went number two and the toilet has overflowed into the floor.” Wow, couldn’t she just say the toilet runneth over? Did she have to announce that I pooped and the toilet’s spewed it all over the floor? Nah, this unit they have to point fingers and cover themselves so I guess that’s the case if the toilet runs over too. My nurse, I really like both nurses today, she tells the pleasantly accented nurse that this has happened another time. *Queue the brow swipe!* I’m not the only one who has broken the toilet.
My business lies mockingly on the floor, for all to see for quite some time as we waited for maintenance, then housekeeping. It was embarrassing, and you’d think I had pooped as much as that elephant Princess wanted to see, but really, I didn’t nor did I fill the toilet with massive amounts of tissue. Next time, before I start PEX, I’ll use the restroom down the hall. I don’t want to take a chance on Moaning Myrtle overflowing the toilet again! On the bright side, I didn’t need a pee pan!
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